Dating a man with spoiled children

If the worst thing that happens to them is an occasional cold shoulder or huff from their spouse, there isn’t a driving reason for them to stop drinking, come home on time, or get a job.

(see: If Your Dog (or Husband) Runs, Don’t Chase Him) You have every right to list your boundaries in regards to your relationship with your spouse: This isn’t controlling or manipulating; it is a clear communication of what you are and are not willing to do.

Start being a man.” Parent-child relationships are not always arranged where the man plays the role of the child, but in my experience it is more often that way than the reverse. Their wives deserve a full-partner, not another dependent. They need to support the family financially, be responsible, stop making foolish decisions, act their age, pick up their things, share the household chores, stop trying to make a career out of hobby, save money instead of spending it, and a host of other common sense actions which a partner in a business relationship would assume is normal.

Yet the second piece of advice is sometimes shocking—I tell the other spouse to stop being the parent.

(see: 13 Questions to Gauge If You Need Marriage Counseling and What to do If Your Spouse Refuses Counseling) If you are married to a partner: Thank God and them.

Do everything in your power to love them, support them, encourage them, and enjoy them.

It’s assumed both will: When partners begin a business, they bring different strengths, abilities, and backgrounds believing they are better together than apart.

This is the only way a partnership can work—in business and marriage.

They shirk responsibility, sulk and throw their toys out of the pram if they don’t get their own way.

If you think you can mature them, don’t be deceived.

It’s never your job to “grow them up.” You can date a boy, but marry a man.

So the active alcoholic or relapsed prescription drug user or the wannabe rock star can ignore their family and their responsibilities without experiencing homelessness, separation from their children, and an end to their intimate relationship with their spouse.

Why should they grow up if they never experience the negative consequences of their decisions?

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Far too many people pledged to be a partner, but they are acting like a dependent. I will love mine forever, and I love most of yours for about an hour. But I have different expectations of my children than I do of my spouse.

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